My life has been punctuated by a series of, “Are you
serious, God?” moments—times when I want to pretend I didn’t hear Him, when I’m
convinced He couldn’t possibly have uttered the command I’ve sensed. And there
have been times, way too many, when I’ve been tempted to cloak a disobedient
heart in excuses and rationalization.
That burning I felt within while reading that passage—that
must have been heartburn. That jolt I felt in my spirit when my pastor gave
that sermon—the stage lights must have hit me wrong.
But in this instance, God left no room for doubt, confirming
His message numerous times through numerous sources, all in the span of a week.
So, reluctantly and perhaps with a few tears, I obeyed.
For just over a week, after which time I started praying for
guidance once again. Over the same issue God had so clearly advised me on, as
if His instructions came with an expiration date.
They hadn’t. Obedience meant remaining fully engaged in the
area He’d already shown me, until He told me different. Trusting, regardless of
the delay, He would indeed do just that, should my assignment change.
I thought of my reluctant obedience dance with Christ as I
was reading about Sarah and Abraham’s journey, recorded in Genesis 12. God
gives them both a pretty drastic command—leave everything and everyone you’ve
known, your homeland, and go. To a place you’ve never been.”
Abraham obeyed and he and his wife began the long, arduous
trek to the Promised Land. Their journey
wasn’t quick or easy. They traveled 600 miles to Haran, where they settled for
a bit, then continued on another 400 miles to Shechem. It was here that Abraham
built his first altar. (Gen.
Commentaries suggest thissacred structure served three
purposes: First, it was a place of intimacy where Abraham met with God. Second,
by erecting this sacred edifice of simple stone, Abram
was taking ownership of the land and declaring to all God’s supremacy. And
finally, this rockpile served as a tangible reminder of God’s promise and Abraham’s
commitment to obey.
When His faith wavered, God’s voice seemed distance, and the
fulfillment of His promise delayed, Abraham could look back upon all the altars
he’d erected and remember—the moment when God met with him personally and spoke
words of blessing. The moment Abraham’s heart surrendered, and the peace the
resultant peace that swept through him. And the confident conviction that had
strengthened his weary soul.
That altar and all the others he built following provided a
tangible reminder of God’s faithfulness and care and Abraham’s commitment to
follow. When difficulties tempted him to abandon the call and when insecurities
caused him to doubt God’s promise, he could look back and remember, drawing
strength and renewed faith from past encounters with the living God.
I’ve learned, if I want to stay strong in Christ and
obedient to Him, I need to do the same. I need to fashion my own altars—notes
tucked in my Bible and journal entries stored in my bookshelves. Concrete and irrefutable
reminders of times when God spoke directly to my heart, issuing a call.
Like with the situation I mentioned early in this post.
Perhaps if I hadn’t recorded God’s clear commands the week before, I could have
rationalized them away. Or forgot them entirely. But regardless of what my
temperamental heart longed to believe, I knew God had God had spoken, and I had
determined to obey.
Can you relate to the temptation I shared?
Dancing
in the Rain:
On the verge
of college graduation, Loni Parker seeks employment as a music teacher, but no
one will hire her since she’s blind. Or so she thinks. To take her mind off her
troubles, her roommate invites her to spring retreat at Camp Hope in the
gorgeous North Carolina mountains.
Unbeknownst to
Loni, Michael Ackerman, the director, is an ex-con responsible for the accident
that caused her blindness. When Loni warms up to camp and wants to return as a
summer counselor, Michael opposes the idea, which only makes Loni want to prove
herself all the more. Though she doesn’t expect to fall for the guy. Still, her
need for independence and dream of teaching win out, taking her far away from
her beloved Camp Hope . . . and a certain director.
Camp director
Michael Ackerman recognizes Lonie instantly and wants to avoid her at all
costs. Yet, despite the guilt pushing him from her, a growing attraction draws
him to the determined woman. She sees more with her heart than the
average person does with his eyes. But her presence also dredges up
a long-buried anger toward his alcoholic father that he’d just as soon keep
hidden. When circumstances spin out of control, Michael is forced to face a
past that may destroy his present.
Buy it
here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CSH8F97
3 comments:
Nice post with Jennifer Slattery.
Hi, Marilyn! Thanks for taking the time to stop in and leave an encouraging comment!
I have experienced the same over the years. Sometimes God is nudging for small things, but others very big. It has taken me years to learn to trust His nudges. You never know where your own healing is going to come from. My biggest spiritual growth has come from following God, even when it was a dark, scary and overwhelming road. Jennifer, thank you for once again sharing yourself with us. You have helped so many with your openness about your journey.
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