I Wish He Had Come with Instructions: The Woman's Guide to a Man's Brain 

Paperback, ebook 

August 2, 2016

by Mike Bechtle 

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Revell 
• ISBN-13: 978-0800723835

What is he really thinking? 

You used to know him so well, you could finish each other's sentences. But more often now, it feels like he speaks a foreign language--or maybe came from another planet. What happened?

Relationship and communication expert Mike Bechtle offers you an insider's guide to the sometimes puzzling male brain. He explains how men think, act, communicate, and grow in relationships. Simple and practical, this book is a road map for better conversations and improved relationships.


"As women, we have the best intentions when we try to change our man into a better version of himself. The problem is, it fails miserably. This book powerfully helps us learn how to celebrate a man's innate gifts and 'hardwiring' to find the closeness we're looking for. I secretly tested the principles on my husband and am proud to tell you they work!"--Dr. Sheri Keffer, New Life Live radio and television cohost, author, and conference speaker

"Dr. Mike Bechtle delivers another insightful and inspiring communication masterpiece that breaks away from stereotyping 'all men' and 'all women' and provides engaging details about how a man's mind really works! Women who want to understand the men they love or who simply want to create healthier relationships with the men in their lives will find this book phenomenally helpful--and hope-filled."--Andi Buerger, JD, executive director of Beulah's Place

My thoughts: First, the disclaimer. "I was provided a free paperback copy of this book. All opinions are my own." That done, I WISH HE HAD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS intrigued me. Not that I need instructions. I've been married to the same man for 30 years and have two grown sons. I understand men. I can read my husband and both sons' thoughts by just looking at them. Sometimes by the tone of their voice. 

But my oldest son is thinking about getting married and the girl he has his eye on will be in the same boot I was in when I married. Why does he want to go play basketball with the guys instead of going to the mall with me? Doesn't he love me anymore?  Why doesn't he know how to clean (fill in the blank)?  Didn't his mama teach him anything?  I showed him where the laundry room is several times--why does his stinky, dirty socks keep being taken off and left balled up in the living room?  

I could go on. 

But I won't. You get the picture. 

This book has common sense approaches that teach women that some men really don't see dirt. They see nothing wrong and don't understand what's wrong with the room that you asked them to clean. I say some men because one of my sons probably is more meticulous than I am. Of course, he's in the military and everything has to be kept just so. That spills over into his everyday life. 

This book explains the term "Man on a mission" and also illustrates that men are just tall boys. But aside from the fun stuff, it also teaches you how to work together as a team and how to spot and treat hot spots that might cause problems in the marriage.  

So you want to know why this intelligent man who wowed you with his knowledge in study hall suddenly turns into a monkey at a foot ball game or starts thumping a book loudly instead of clapping or does other stuff that makes you wonder what just happened... its okay. Its normal. Men are just tall boys. 

And just a tiny tip -- men respond well to compliments and encouragement. They thrive on it. 

And that is just a couple of the nuggets of wisdom in this book. If you are engaged or newly married (or know someone who is) then pick up a copy of I WISH HE HAD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS. You'll be glad you did. 

Dr. Mike Bechtle (EdD, Arizona State University) is the author of People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys, How to Communicate with Confidence, and You Can't Text a Tough Conversation. His articles have appeared in publications such as Writer's Digest, Pastors.com, and Entrepreneur. A frequent speaker, Bechtle lives in California. Learn more at www.mikebechtle.com.