Impressions by Heidi Dru Kortman

Impressions

Text: Psalm 119:73-80

“Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands. May they who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word” (v.73-74).

            Some passages are hard to live up to. First, we must give in and confess that God knows exactly what he is doing in the process of our lives. It can be very difficult to admit that there could be a real purpose for our disabilities. “Everybody else” appears to have life much easier than we do.

            As a very small “preemie” in 1957, I could have died immediately. The oxygen levels in the incubator could have blinded me—(the technology was still being worked out then). I could have had problems with mental development. By the grace of God, I have none of these things. I do have spastic cerebral palsy. My left leg is weaker than my right, and my left hand won’t type this devotional as fast as my right one can. It’s frustrating, and on some days, I do not consider this “gift” something I’ve received from God’s grace. It can be very hard to truly believe that “in faithfulness you have afflicted me” (v.75).

            We know that God’s laws are righteous, but achieving a blameless attitude toward his law and making it our delight, are definitely things we cannot do for ourselves. Obviously, it is easy to pray “May the arrogant be put to shame for wronging me without cause;” but meditating on God’s precepts instead of the mocking we have received is not naturally our first choice.

            Our God has compassion. He solved our greatest problem by decreeing the death of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Christ rose, and sent the Holy Spirit, who lives in and with us, and is the unfailing love and comfort that makes all God’s promises our personal possessions. When we focus on this truth, instead of our awkward personal circumstances, we can be attractive despite the physical differences that draw so much other attention. “May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word…may those who fear you turn to me, those who understand your statutes” (vs. 74, 79).

            Prayer:

            Through belief in the life, saving death, and resurrection of Jesus, all your overwhelming promises are ours, Lord God, and we plead that you remake us. Help us to make your will our delight. Mold our attitudes so that those who see us can rejoice. Amen.

Heidi Dru Kortman, a CWG Apprentice graduate, ACFW member since 2004, and Word Weaver member has published devotionals in various newsletters, and a collected volume of devotionals. Her poetry, flash fiction, and short stories have appeared in small magazines, and a website. She is applying herself to the task of writing smoothly polished fiction.