Author note: This was originally written in March 2018
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10
Sometimes it is just so hard to be still and wait for God to move. You want to do, to go and fix, to shake sense into someone, and with writing to make progress with the story.
Three weeks ago, I thought my prodigal was doing so well. Two part-time jobs, he was paying rent, and was talking about how he learned his lessons, he was going to do this, that, and the next thing. All positive. I was so encouraged.
And then I found out he was kicked out of his rented room, had a drug related seizure, and lost both jobs in one smooth move. Snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory. I cried. I’m still sick to my stomach just thinking about it. And worse, I don’t know where he is. His phone is disconnected, I’m back to worrying about the police showing up to arrest him for nonpayment of fines, or worse, to tell me he’s not alive. Or even worse than that, to find his body on my front deck.
Yes, I’m a writer. I imagine these things (shudder).
I have two deadlines in the next four months. I don’t have time to waste ringing my hands, crying, stressing over how he could be so…foolish, and all the other drama that comes with having five children, a job, and a life outside of writing.
I had no time to mope. But how do you write through this?
I took a day to pray and read the Bible. I told myself that working would keep my mind focused on other things (not that my son is ever far from my thoughts and prayers) and that I still have obligations to meet. Crawling into a cave, hiding and eating chocolate wasn’t an option. I had others pray for me and my son.
And then I prayed some more. I need some encouragement, God!!!
My book, LOVE BY THE NUMBERS just released and my publisher had a blog tour for it. And one of the reviewers made a meme from a quote in my book.
“The future is scary and uncertain. Maybe we’re supposed to cling to God for today and let Him worry about tomorrow.”
I do a much better job worrying about things than God does, He can see the future, and knows what will happen. I can’t and don’t. But I can cling to Him. I can “Just Breathe” (song by Johnny Diaz) and be still and know that He is God… He has it. I don’t.
I read in a book recently that if we can trust God to keep the universe running smoothly, why can’t we trust Him with our own problems?
So, this is me, again, handing my son and all the drama over to Him. Being still, and knowing He is God. And trying to trust. Focusing on breathing.
Putting one foot in front of the other…
And letting my fingers tap-dance on the keyboard.
How do you let go of stress? What are some of the verses you cling to?
I should add that said son is currently doing well, but please continue to keep him in your prayers.
Laura V. Hilton is an award-winning, sought-after author with thirty Amish, contemporary, and historical romances. When she’s not writing, she reviews books for her blogs. Her most recent series is set in Mackinac County, Michigan, and includes Firestorm, The Amish Candymaker, and Married to a Stranger (July 2019).
Laura and her pastor-husband have five children and a hyper dog named Skye. They currently live in
. One son is in
the U.S. Coast Guard. She is a pastor’s wife, and homeschools her two youngest
When she’s not writing, Laura enjoys reading, and visiting lighthouses and waterfalls. Her favorite season is winter, her favorite holiday is Christmas.
Love by the Numbers (blurb)
After her fiancé dies in a buggy accident, Lydia Hershberger is invited to Jamesport to manage her Mennonite aunt’s gift store while her aunt and uncle are on a mission trip. While there,
acquainted with her aentie’s best friend, Bethel Bontrager, and her grown son,
is surprised to find herself drawn to handsome clockmaker, Caleb Bontrager. But
in spite of an instant flame of attraction between them, he doesn’t seem interested.
In fact, pesky Caleb treats her like he doesn’t even like her. Lydia
Bright and sparkly. That’s Caleb’s first impression of
He’s always been attracted to sparkly things. In fact, his affinity for those
things, and the trouble they can cause, are exactly why he’s determined to change
his ways and settle down. With Lydia ’s aentie gone, he is handling
the books for the gift shop and is forced to spend too much time in her
When God offers
a second chance at love and
family, will she take it? Or will the secret Caleb harbors cause her even more
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